Sad Sad Sea Horse

I don't know what it is. Could it be jealousy? No not that. Longing? No, not that either. It's more discontent of some sort. My life is so different now, and I"m at that point where the things I want are still far away from reach, and what I had is no longer mine. I just wish I didn't feel so lonely. Like I'm leaving behind people, but no one is reaching out for me. People judge me. They think that I'm fake, because I'm materialistic. They don't know me at all. Material goods are great, I love make up, I love clothes, yeah I can endorse in superficial things, but when it comes down to everything, I'm still human, I'm still real! I have real feelings, real dreams, goals, wants, needs. But I'm at that point where I rather splurge and invest in material goods, then people, because people always let me down. The only times make up lets me down is when they break me out or cause an allergic reaction, they never let me down, cause me heart ache, bring tears to my eyes, unless you count getting mascara into them... I guess it's pathetic and sad that I put my feelings into such material items, but they're always there.. no matter what, I'll have them, but I can't say the same for everyone in my life.

Whale of a Wednesday

Current Want:

is that not amazing looking?

-they're "push pop" cupcakes!

I adore this <3 

The Happenings

School:

Bored, Bored, Bored, Eat, Bored.

Home:

Sit, Eat, Sit, Clean, Sit, Eat, Blog.

On a Brighter Note

☮ I bought stuff online today :] from Lush <3  I was going to get the cheaper shipping, but then I realized it was only saving me 2 dollars & it'd take up to 15 days! Where as for 2 more dollars, I'd get it in 2 days, so..  basically I said "fck that" & paid 8 bucks for shipping! That's more then some of the items I got... Sadly, I've already forgotten what I purchased,  But I'll make a blog or vlog when I receive it in the mail (;

☮ While cleaning my room today, I found a whole 100 dollars! :] I was quite thrilled as you can imagine finding money you did not know you had is definitely one of the best feelings in the world <3 However it does not cease to amaze me how I could lose 100 dollars and not even realize it until now! I need better money organization, or organization in general; but oh wells! more money for me to shop with (;

Things I Need To Do

1. Pack for San Francisco! Leaving Sunday :O

2. Do my AP Statistics homework. BLEURGH ):

 (me and my friend are exchanging so I can't let her down :P)

3. Go shopping in general. (;

4. Find a way to hang or store scarves! :D

5. Start being more strict on my diet plans! )):

★ Shannon! ☮

Sunday in a Sea Shell

Current Want

(source: IDK, but I do not claim this by any means)

This bag is currently on my mind like crazy!

I really really want it.

Time to beg for it (;

or at least a copy version!

( I don't like fake stuff but I love finding the same exact bag but tagless<3)

Today's Schedule:

[7:30-8:00] Alarm Rings Every 5 Minutes

[8:00-8:30] Scramble Out of Bed to Get Ready

[8:30-9:00] Listen to the Beatles in the Car to Church

[9:00-12:30] Church: Sunday School & Service

[12:30-1:20] Waiting for the Parents ):

[1:20-1:35] Drive on Home (@ Last)

[1:35-4:00] Internet + Poetry Journals 

[4:00-5:30] Poetry Journals

[5:30-7:34] Academy Awards, Dinner, & Poetry Journals

): of the day

GIVING AWAY CLOTHES.

My God, it is hard to depart from some things sometimes... I have a friend who has three sisters (yes that makes four of them) the poor dad!  Anyways, they're a super adorable family, quite a lovely bunch. She is a year younger then me, and though taller, she's skinnier (I think, though she denies so) So, whenever I clean my room and sort through my clothes, I always find a ton of things I never wear anymore and so I give to her. But some of these things are just quite hard to let go of, the memories they hold, the money it cost to buy them, all those things factor into my already missing them. I don't even remember what I've given her since they are such neglected clothes, but they are such cute buys! I really hope they take care of it well. I give her nice clothes too, the bad ones I just donate. Anyhow, I'm making room for myself to buy more clothes (: That is the plus side to this. I have so much clothes and no where to put it all, I think giving them away to someone who would treat it well, flaunt it well, and would appreciate them, is a good deal considering it means I get to buy more! Don't you agree? Well, anyways, even after giving her six big bag full of clothes, I still have no where to put all my clothes, quite pathetic isn't it? I really ought to organize better, but for those who know me.... that's impossible!

(: of the day

Actually, not to much happened today that was happy face worthy, sadly, it was a pretty normal day, but I am glad the Academy Awards is going on, even though I'm just listening to it from my room. I love that Alice in Wonderland won best costume and beat out Inception in graphics! I think it truly deserved it! And although I was rooting for How to Train a Dragon, I think Toy Story 3 is just as good and I'm quite thrilled that it is winning so much (: Pathetic isn't it? My (: of the day is talking about the Academy Awards? This goes to show that I will never win an Oscar (;

Things I Need To Do

1. Go shopping for purses and hand bags!

2. Buy new make up,  I'm getting sick of my usual !

3. Record my video blogs (they're just on my computer not for people to see sorry!)

4. Shave every inch of my dogs hair because it gets all over my clothes! (jk, I'd never!)

5. Clean my room before I get grounded for life (is that even legal?)

Music I love At The Moment

(: 

Shannon!

Pain Makes Beauty

(Source: idle-youth.tumblr.com)

(source: www.lemonadesignstand.com)

(Source: proanaquotes.tumblr.com)

Disclaimer: I don't think any girl should have to be so insecure or unhappy to need to take things to this extent, I'm just simply stating a sad truth! 

It is so hard not to think "if I just didn't eat that bagel, maybe I'd lose a few pounds and be prettier" or "my face would be so much more attractive if I lost some fat off it." I mean we're just so programed to want to look good, and in these times, good isn't good enough, we strive for perfection, skinny skinny, is the new hot. I don't know, a lot of guys say "oh I wouldn't want to date a twig" yet they judge us on every little inch of fat we have on our body. It's just saddening. I can't say I'm not lost in this world of ED, (eating disorders). I'm conflicted between my wants and my better interests. I really don't think I'm overweight, or not skinny, I just think I can be better, closer to perfect. Psychologically you have to be underweight and still think you're fat, and so you starve yourself to be considered "anorexic" so what does that make the rest of us, diet obsessed, mildly starving girls?

We no longer live a world with good morales, the people who judge anorexics just don't have the self control to do what they do. The people who are anorexic, think they are strong because they're causing themselves self destruction (which violates the four d's of abnormality hence anorexia being a mental disorder). I think girls need to start to feel beautiful about themselves, the world needs to ban junk food, and parents need to stop allowing kids to get out of line, boys need to stop judging, and girls need to start standing up for themselves. Sadly that will never happen, and so we just have to accept everything, and try to make the best of it.

This blog post is kind of rant-y but my point is not to encourage anorexia or bash on anorexics, its to prove that we are living in a corrupted society, and really we have no right to judge these poor girls and even boys. I think everyone can see where they are coming from, even if its not to their extreme?

A Little About Me (:

Name: Shannon Fong
Age: 17 going on 18
Birthday: 22nd October 1993
Location: SoCal, USA 
Education: Graduating in June 2011 & recently accepted to FIDM-LA as a Visual Communications major 
Other Blogs/Accounts: twitter: twitter.com/ ohshanlifee
tumblr: jemappelleshannon.tumblr.com 
youtube: youtube.com/ohmyyshanny
Background: Asian-American. Raised as a Christian. Youngest Child. Orange County Bubble. Liberal.
Interests: Fashion, Make-Up, Elizabethan & Gothic Romanticism, Fitzgerald, LOVE, Shopping, Music, Photography, Darkroom Photography, Cinematography, Fancy Food, French Desserts, the BEACH, & Disney.